A New Beginning

Today, I had an epiphany. It wasn't my first and hopefully it won't be my last. I have struggled for many years with my weight. I started gaining weight probably in the 6th grade and every year since then has seen significant weight gain. I have probably now reached my most heaviest. I'm not sure how much I weigh now, probably close to 275 pounds. I have never admitted that to anyone before. I'm a bit lucky in that I'm relatively tall (5'10") and can kind of hide my weight. I usually subtract about 25 pounds...sometimes even more. To be considered a healthy weight I need to weigh about 166 pounds, so I have roughly 110 pounds to lose. It's a lot of weight to lose, but I'm more determined now than I have ever been before. I'm tired all the time, I'm depressed, and I can't hardly breathe because my "jelly donut" is pushing into my lungs. I'm not healthy and that needs to change. I don't plan on going on a diet. I plan on eating healthier and less. I plan on exercising somewhat regularly. I have a goal of taking a picture of myself, with how much I weigh visible, daily. I have told this to friends and family and they all think that this is a good idea, except some think taking a daily weighing/picture is too much. They think a once a week weighing/picture would be better. If I don't see a weight loss it could discourage me. That is very true and normally I wouldn't do that. However, this is an experiment and I'm hoping that by doing it this way it will help to keep me motivated. I know I may not see a dramatic decrease everyday. That isn't the goal of this experiment. I want to, when I reach my goal of 166 pounds, make a video of all of the pictures. I want to be able to see me lose the weight and see the difference. It may seem kind of crazy and weird, but it's what I want to do. I'm pretty much by myself. I have the support and motivation of my friends and family but they aren't here to push me and physically make me. It would be very easy to listen to them telling me to go exercise and say I did, when I really didn't. This will be my way of doing that to myself. I don't have the self motivation. I know that soon it'll get very rough and I know I'll want to quit. That is why I've started this new blog. If I can write down what I'm feeling and be accountable to someone/thing, it'll make it easier for me. I don't know, or care, how many followers I get. Maybe I'll get none. So, here are goals for this blog:

1. Write my feelings, frustrations, fears, and triumphs

2. Write what I ate

3. Write what exercise(s) I did

4. Take a daily picture

I'm hoping that these things will help me. I'll gladly take any comfort, support, and motivation you have to offer! Tomorrow I will take my first weighing and picture and post them.